Odd Citizen

Odd Citizen
An Odd Citizen’s Search For Vanishing Freedoms

Introduction to Liberal Mushification

December 17th, 2010

Mushify: [verb] The progressive/liberal formula for solving every problem and spreading happiness throughout the world. Whenever a liberal encounters someone, anyone who is unhappy for any reason, the answer is to mushify. The essence of musification is to redefine things so they no longer vex the unhappy complainer. Simple!

Mushification appeals to those with a collective mentality, people who consider individual responsibility quaint and icky, who think that demonstrating excellence is an insult against under-achievers and the lazy, that the exercise of honor and duty belong to fools, and that individuals are not entitled to form their own, independent opinions and judgments.

Before the concept of mushification entered my mind I was at a loss to understand why Liberal Collectivists came up with the inane proposals they called progressive. But now it is quite clear. Once you understand how to mushify, you understand the liberal mind in its entirety.

In its simplest form mushification involves changing meanings through euphemisms. Crippled becomes handicapped, becomes physically disabled, becomes physically challenged. Trash dump becomes sanitary waste fill. Muslim terrorist becomes terrorist, becomes insurgent. Criminal becomes victim of failed social justice system. The essence of the object doesn’t change, but the word naming it becomes less and less meaningful. You know the drill.

But it gets worse. Mushification can be applied to legal concepts, societal standards, political debates, foreign policy, and everywhere else that liberals see a need for “progress.” Unless you understand it clearly as mushification it’s hard to resist. The only way to effectively resist this is to insist on using the original terminology and its original meaning. You’ll be vilified for that, but if you don’t respect the source you don’t care about the brickbats. To do otherwise is to accept the distorted, mush-meanings, which makes you unable to ever win the debate.

A huge example of Mushification is how it has been so successfully applied to the Commerce clause of the constitution. With a simple redefinition of the term “commerce”, every activity of every citizen can become subject to regulation. Without mushification the U.S. Constitution would have protected us from having a government that now threatens to sink the entire country with its burdensome regulation and crushing expense.

To help you understand the process of mushificaiton, here are some more minor examples:

Senator Weanie wants to pass a bill banning gun ownership — Mushify! Redefine the term “arms” to that, in the constitutional context, it applies only to muskets and flintlocks. Everything else can be banned. Or just redefine an individual right as a collective right.

Johnnie complains he can marry Billie, Mushify! Redefine marriage.

Henry complains that he’s not earning enough money, Mushify! Redefine individual earnings as entitlements. It’s society’s fault, not Henry’s. Pass a law forcing Harry’s employer to give Henry more money. If Harry’s employer goes under, let the government give Henry more money.

Carl complains that his boss says his work is substandard and he doesn’t work hard enough, Mushify! Redefine individual performance standards as group performance standards. Tell Carl’s boss that according to union rules Carl is no better and no worse, on average, than any other union member.

Billie comes home from school crying that his team lost the baseball game, Mushify! Redefine win or loss in sports. Eliminate scoring in baseball games.

Young Sammie complains that his father criticized him for picking his nose at the table, Mushify! Redefine table manners. Table manners are obsolete and don’t matter, especially for young kids.

Artist Jan-Paul creates a sculpture that makes people puke, Mushify! Redefine art as anything the artist says it is.

Bill the welder complains that he’s being blamed for burning down the factory because he didn’t follow the safety rules, Mushify! Redefine Bill’s conduct as an issue, not a problem. It’s not Bill’s fault, nor anyone else’s. It’s the system. It’s not a “problem” that the factory burned down, it’s an “issue”. An issue is something everyone can talk about, but nobody is responsible for.

Victor the CEO made a decision to move the company to China. The Chinese ate the company’s lunch, and it went belly up. Mushify! Redefine the role of CEO as group organizer, not responsible leader. Victor says that really, he didn’t “make a decision”, he “took a decsion” (collectively) so he can’t be held personally responsible for the failure.

Symphony conductor Roger complains that the audience didn’t applaud his latest performance. Mushify! Redefine music as an in-your-face art form designed to challenge the sensibility of the audience. The audience doesn’t appreciate that all sounds produced by an orchestra, no matter how harsh or discordant, are the expressions of the inspired composer, and the audience has no right to make a judgment based on their primitive level of musical sophistication.

Blog reader complains that writer of this article has used only male names in his article. This is sexist. Blog writer Mushifes! Redefine sex. There is no difference between males and females, so why should there be difference of names. Any child should have any name his parents pin on him/her/it regardless of sex (oops! Gender, sexual preference, or perversion). So using male names is moot. The examples could be either or both.

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